My brother-in-law has a great knack for sending just the right birthday card.  Here, for your reading pleasure, is the (lengthy) inscription on this year’s offering.

The burglar has been watching the house for a while.  He is certain there is nobody at home, and decides the timing is right to break in.  He knows the occupant has an expensive stereo and makes his way straight for it.  Nice!  He disconnects all the cables form the PS Audio DirectStream DAC and is just about to lift it from the shelf when, from the darkness at the back of the room he hears a quiet voice.

“Jesus is watching you.”

Momentarily shocked, the burglar freezes and slowly turns round.  Seeing nothing, he puts it down to his imagination and turns his attention back to the DirectStream.

“Jesus is watching you”, says the voice again.

This time the clearly nervous burglar switches his flashlight on and scans the darkened room with it.  The beam comes to rest on a parrot, sitting in a cage. 

“Did you just say that?” asks the startled burglar.

“Yes I did,” replied the parrot, “but I was only trying to warn you.”

“You?” asks the incredulous burglar.  “And who the hell are you, to be warning me?”

“My name is Moses” says the parrot.

“Moses?” says the bemused burglar.  “What kind of people call their parrot Moses?”

The parrot squawked, and thought for a moment before replying.  “The kind of people who call their Rottweiler, ‘Jesus’.”